A Bug's Life

Nothing special about last night's walk home: the sky was neither clear and starry, nor misty and atmospheric. The plane trees were as usual gilded by the sodium lights.

At the pub I managed to make two separate muttar paneer jokes, and forget how the topic of cheese loofahs came up. I lied about the teabags.

I went to Tesco, wondering if I might score some cheap post-Valentine chocolates, but the huuuge display of red and black and shiny gold Valentine's Day cards and gifts has been turned round overnight into a huuuge display of pale pink Mother's Day cards and gifts. A lot of the chocolate hasn't been physically moved, just repositioned with different messages. "Get laid tonight with a Cadbury's Creme Egg!" turns to "Thank you, Mummy, for hatching me!" then they just need to think of a new line for Easter. Or for a sales push a week earlier: "Beware the Ides of March - luckily, you always know you're safe with a Cadbury's Creme Egg!" (They're not actually pushing CCEs, but you get the idea)

What if you bought a box of Milk Tray marketed for lovers, but gave them to your mother? What if you give your lover chocolate, but it doesn't get eaten till March 2nd - does it turn into mother's chocolate?