A Bug's Life

It's been ages since I've kept up with this Wednesday posting. I've put it on my to do list so hopefully I'll get to it now. 

So far this year I've read the first 7 books in the DI Hilary Greene series by Faith Martin. They are perfect for bedtime books -- if I have insomnia I am entertained, and if I am sleepy I have a calm methodical British accent narrating detection procedures. Does that count as ASMR? I will say that they are advertised as rewrites of earlier novels and it shows in the lack of technology - mobile phones are quite the novelty and people actually use them to talk on the phone. No texting, no social media. But that's also soothing and easy to follow. The lead character is a single (well, divorced) and child-free middle-aged Detective Inspector who is neither annoying nor neurotic. She's opinionated and self-confident and smart, as one would expect. Very enjoyable. There is a little of the typical gung-ho cop talk, but it's not too bad. (Honestly, I have never felt that crusading desire to rid society of criminals and/or evil but I must at this point assume that some people are genuine when they say they feel that way. Or they're all hypocrites and I'm very cynical. Hmm. Is this also why I don't like superheroes? At any rate, it is a genre problem and not a problem with this book series specifically.)

For work (because I'm teaching them) I read a bunch of Langston Hughes's poetry from his first book, The Weary Blues.(1925) It's all there already in his first book, even though he expands throughout his career. Now in the public domain!

Also for work, Nella Larsen's novel Passing (1929), about a Black woman passing as a white woman in 1920s Harlem. It's mostly about how her Black childhood friend reacts to re-encountering her as an adult, and the relationships between people - very much a psychological novel. Recommended. 

Also for work, George Bernard Shaw's Mrs. Warren's Profession (written 1893, performed 1906? 1907?) - the classic and still relevant drama about women and economics and the hypocrisy around prostitution. This has been extremely teachable in the wake of the Epstein files and the pervasiveness of sexual exploitation in society. We also had good discussions about whether we judge women who make money on OnlyFans. 

Not for work, Essential Succulents: The Beginner's Guide by Ken Shelf, because I am slowly building my cacti collection. This had beautiful photos but was somewhat short on actual guidance. 

Music Meme, Day 23

A song with a color in the title:

I knew almost immediately what song I wanted to share to fulfill this requirement. Cassandra Wilson's "Blue Lights 'til Dawn." Her lovely, throaty contralto makes this song particularly sensual. The loping rhythm is just right and the band backing her does her proud. 



As is usually the case with me, I remembered another song with a different type of fascination: REM's "Green Grow the Rushes," from their amazing album "Maps and Legends." I've heard that the band had a complicated, somewhat ambivalent relationship with the album, although I can't find what I recall was the story where I read that. Perhaps it's just a fable ... anyhow, I used to play the entire album almost every day on my way to work. I was hypnotized by the single "Maps and Legends" and sometimes played it on repeat. "Green Grow the Rushes" was another song that felt like the world Stipe wrote and sang about was taking a breath, getting ready for the rest of this Southern Gothic masterpiece of an album. 

So here in its hypnotically resplendent Southern Gothic glory is "Green Grow the Rushes."



Here is a link to my last post, which in turn holds links to previous entries. 

A baseball simulation game bundle.

Bundle of Holding: Deadball

Film the collective most wanted to see together but missed was Queer as Punk, 2025, which I mention because some of you might also be interested in a queer Malaysian punk movie.

Film: All That's Left of You, 2025, is an unexpectedly gentle and also thoughtful film about a Palestinian man and his family, told episodically from 1948 to 2022. I usually resent any film over the 2hr mark but this deserved and filled the 2hrs 25mins it took to tell these stories. The cinematography is decidedly beautiful, with Palestinian lives and homes being lit in warm colours. I hadn't read any spoilers so I'd no idea where these stories were heading beyond forwards in time from the Nakba through the First Intifada, and I was surprised by the later themes which I thought were extremely well handled despite their difficulties. An aspect of the film-making that drew my attention very early on were casting decisions for the two occasions during which we see close-ups of members of the Israeli military being abusive, when the actors chosen looked as much like the Palestinian lead as possible, so the first could have been his brother and the second a close cousin (a more diverse population was shown but the casting in these two incidents was clearly intentional).
Conclusion: I recommend watching All That's Left of You if you enjoy heartfelt family-themed films (also rated 12A - about PG-13 - despite the surrounding violence [/ reminder that European film ratings tend to be higher for violence (and lower for sex) than US ratings ]). 5/5

Film: Colours of Time / La Venue de l'avenir, 2025, is a lightweight middle-of-the-road French film exploring recent history through the lens of one family, and was clearly sponsored by the Normandy tourist authority (and good for them!). The casting suited the plot as well as the characters, the lighting was good, and all the very mainstream music - from acoustic to electronic dance - was spot on. Cliches are racked up constantly, but each is well done and forgivable (except possibly Monmartre as a romantic pre-suburb village, which was wholly unnecessary nostalgia that didn't rly work as commentary on the present and was balanced by the equally saccharine Ooo They've Got Electricity scene). The Obligatory Pride in French Arts Culture is offset by making it mildly amusing. Beekeeping featured as the vaguest form of token environmentalism. There is the most improbably upbeat and escapist take on teaching as a career. Warning for the usual pervasive French misogyny, albeit dialled down as this is intended to be a sweet story. Nonetheless I noticed the Stressed Businesswoman Who Just Needs a "Date" trope, and although the Women's Magazine Culture is Lol Lowbrow trope was offset by humour, there was also Historical Women Were All Sex-Workers. Also warning for glamourised recreational drug-taking. The best laugh line was "I got hit on by Victor Hugo!" and I'm absolutely not going to spoil the context, although for balance there was also a dreadful pun about cat/chat room filters.
Themes: family, love, nostalgic history. 5/5

Film: The Blue Trail / O Último Azul, 2025, is a Brazilian film, that I saw with the original soundtrack and subtitles (there seems to be a terrible dubbed trailer about too?). In a near-future dystopia, 80 year old people are bussed away to a "colony" for old people so they don't impair the economic activity of younger people... according to pervasive government messaging. Unfortunately for the protagonist, Tereza, the age limit is lowered to 77 only a few weeks before her 77th birthday. She is mandatorily retired from her job at an alligator processing factory (warning for animal death and dismemberment) and sent home to her small shack to await the inevitable. However, Tereza has other ideas and decides to flee in pursuit of her desire to fly. Along the way she meets a drug-taking riverboat courier who shows her a wild snail that excretes blue "drool" which induces visions in humans when used as eyedrops. Various snitches try to turn her in to the authorities, and her dream of flying crashes. But Tereza meets another riverboat traveller, on the rainbow-coloured Caridad (Charity - aka loving kindness), who might have an alternative dream for our heroine. But what will the visionary wild snail reveal about this, and how much will Tereza's renewed life cost her and the animals she inevitably continues to exploit (more warnings for animal death)?
Themes: exploitation, of people and animals and the environment; but also love and redemption (which has its price, like all redemption). Possible lesbian and/or female friendship themes but these are choose your own adventure interpretations.
Conclusion: beautiful, disjointed, occasionally upsetting, and partially individually redemptive. 4/5

For some reason I’m not sure about I watched “Scarpetta” - the whole series.

I still have no clue what was happening most of the time. I actually prefer “Silent Witness” and that show is beginning to annoy me.

Now, I have read about half of Patricia Cornwell’s books, and I don’t remember any of them being as gloopy as the TV series. Nor do I remember them as being quite so full of horrible characters. Kay’s sister in particular I wanted to die a death. Kay herself was annoying and Lucy nearly as much. The only character I liked was the dead wife.

I also struggled with telling current events from flashbacks. They could at least have given Kay different hairstyles.

All in all, a waste of my time.

I was fascinated to read Jo Walton's post on How to read sixteen books at once at all times, because I have recently - and somewhat inadvertently - set up something similar for myself.

In mid-February I got fed up of all the half-read things in my ebook reader, so I went through and tagged a bunch of them - things I wanted to read, things I meant to get around to, etc - in a special collection, and then said "OK now you can only read things from this collection". I started out with 25 books, but added a few more either because a) they were new Dick Francis books that I wanted to read (2 books), or b) they were for a book group meeting that I had suddenly realised was approaching (2 books). Since then I have read only one ebook not in that collection (another book group! but a chapter-by-chapter one, so I don't want to read the whole thing yet), one paper book (oh look for a different book group), and a few chapters of other paper books, and the collection is down to 12.

It's actually been tremendously productive as an approach ( rambling about my reading habits )

In conclusion, it's been great for my reading but terrible for my booklog, which is sadly behind even though I've been working on it reasonably regularly.

Last night's post-supper "outside time" was all fun and games until the kiddo made a move. We were busy scouting a snow-free yard full of puddles when she dropped the request: she wanted to go sledding.

In the logic-defying brain of a three-year-old, snow is totally optional. She was convinced that grass sledding is a top-tier spring sport. We just stood there-no heart to explain the physics of a muddy lawn to someone who sees a luge track where we see a swamp.

Electromagnetic Assault by Bruce Landay

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


If you like futuristic military techno-thrillers, you’ll probably like this book.
Do I need to say more? Let’s consider the many varieties of book reviews including consumer, preview, sponsored, literary, professional, and academic.
In this case I’m a reader (or consumer, if you prefer that term, which I don’t). This is a preview because the book will be released April 7 (although you can pre-order it). It’s almost sponsored because I know Bruce and critiqued earlier versions of the opening chapters, and he sent me a free copy of the final book, but I’m writing this review because I want to give my honest opinion.
Tips on how to write a review usually recommend writing a summary of the book. To my thinking, this habit largely results from an unexamined hangover from middle school book reports when you had to summarize a book to prove to the teacher that you actually read it, no matter how tedious your summary was (and is). We’re adults now, and we have all the tedium we need. You can just read the book blurb, which is blissfully brief.
A critical assessment is also recommended for a review. In this Electromagnetic Assault, bullets fly around and things blow up a lot. For this reason, I found the battle that takes place in my old neighborhood in Milwaukee especially entertaining. There are endless plot twists, as befits a book of this type. To say more would spoil your fun. So much for my summary and assessment.
The reviewer is also advised to mention relevant information about the author. Bruce is a former Air Force officer. You will notice the expertise.
More broadly, I think there three types of book reviews:
• The first is for readers who haven’t read the book but wonder if they want to. That’s what we’re doing here.
• The second is for readers who aren’t going to read the book but want a useful, thoughtful summary from a professional so they can feel like they’ve read the book. The review provides a lengthy non-tedious analysis. You can often read these in upscale magazines and academic settings, which is not where we are now.
• The third kind of review subjects the novel to literary criticism regarding its writing style and thematic development. I think the very short chapters add to the velocity of the book, which is an appropriate attribute for a thriller. To discuss its literary merits further, we would both need to have read the book, and so far only one of us has.
To conclude, I believe Electromagnetic Assault is a worthy addition to its sub-genre. Enough said.




View all my reviews

= July 24, 1982 (Day Six) =

I wake up recalling my conversation yesterday with Ellen out by the piano and that somewhat cryptic final comment about it being better in here. Now I realize what she might have been telling me: “It’s actually even more controlling out there, the life I have to go back to.”

Okay. I admit that this place is not the most bluntly coercive place I’ve ever had to cope with.

But they are paying close attention, and constantly seeking control. For the amount of communication taking place, they should be doing more of the listening.



After showering and dressing, I pad out to the cafeteria to get breakfast. I realize I miss cooking for myself, preparing what I specifically want, the way I like it. I want the base of a well-toasted English muffin, with strips of bacon, then an egg fried solid in the bacon grease carefully layered on top of the bacon, and sharp cheddar cheese on top of that, broiled in the oven until the cheese melts, then several shots of tabasco sauce and topped with the other side of the muffin.

More to the point, I want what is familiar to me and to my preference. I want the experience of doing for myself and living my own life as I’ve chosen it.

All institutions like this have to deal somehow with how they displace all that and impose something foreign onto the people who come to them for treatment. They don’t really have a choice about providing all these services in an environment that the patient is already comfortable in. It has to be a new and unfamiliar place. What’s fascinating, and disturbing, is that in Mountain View two years ago and now here again in Elk Meadow, I don’t see a pattern of therapists helping people settle in first and get comfortable so we can speak from some semblance of a position of familiarity and confidence. Instead, if anything, it’s tended to feel like they deliberately strip new arrivals to the bone to throw us off-balance as much as possible.





* * *



Dr. James Barnes doesn’t always appear at our morning unit meetings; after all, there are other units on other wings of this place, all of which are holding morning meetings, so he rotates, doing the rounds. We had him yesterday.

The meeting rooms we use are U-shaped, with shallow risers to elevate the back rows, a half-dozen folding chairs up front for people who know they are going to be speaking, and a wooden lectern that people sometimes stand behind while they speak, although a lot of times people stand in front of it so they can walk around more.

That’s where Dr. Barnes is pacing as we file in, Irma and Mark following behind in his wake as he turns and stalks. He looks annoyed and impatient.

As I’m watching him scowling and prowling, he looks in my direction. Recognizes me.

“Hey everybody, look who we have with us today”, he exclaims. “Look who has decided to grace us with his presence this morning. People, we have with us ‘Derek Turner, HB, Pt.’, right there in the flesh. ...” he pauses and stares from a face twisted with theatrical concern and pity. “What does that stand for, Derek? Habitual patient?”

I can’t out-boom him, but I speak as resonantly as I can, trying to enunciate crisply: “Human being, comma, patient.”

“You want credentials, and credibility. That’s understandable. I have both, Derek. You have neither. You haven’t managed to make it through your freshman year of college after two tries, but you still need to think of yourself as a great master of psychology and social science, and I think you really need to ask yourself why. What you’re compensating for. Do you know how many years I’ve studied? I’ve spent years building this therapy center, to help people like you. In order to be able to provide that help, I attended and graduated from medical school, where I learned research methods and the principles of medical intervention, and after four years of that I put in another four years doing my residency, gaining experience and learning at the side of established medical professionals, and another two years training on top of that to specialize in psychiatric behavioral services.

“People respect me! Do you want people’s respect, Derek? Can you even imagine being respected the way I am? I get telephone calls from newspapers asking for my opinion, asking if they can quote me! I built Elk Meadow to offer services to people, people like you, who can’t function in society, who might never be able to function in society, and I have put many of those people back on the street to live lives they could only dream of.”

Barnes turns and gestures with both palms, “So... you took out your crayons and made a pathetic little homemade sign for your door.” “Who do you think you’re going to impress? Look around! Nobody cares what you think!” I stare back at him wordlessly. I do look around, and I notice a roomful of other rather stunned-looking people taking sidelong looks back and forth to each other. Barnes continues, “Everyone here at Elk Meadow is embarrassed for you! We bend over backwards to try everything in our power to reach you, to include you, to help you find the courage to take your life in your hands and do something with it, but, no, you persist in throwing the lifeline back in our face! And you smirk and preen, you’re so proud of yourself for what you’ve done. You’re like a little toddler showing off that he made a dookey, ‘Come see, come see Mommy, come see Daddy, look what I put in the toilet bowl’. I’m glad you’re proud of your accomplishments, but sadly nobody else thinks as highly of them as you do, and sooner or later you’re going to have to come around to recognizing that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an institution to run and I’m needed elsewhere.” With that, Barnes whirls and exits through the side hallway door.

Following several silent awkward beats, Irma ahemms and starts the morning meeting, which I scarcely take any notice of.

I file out with the others and end up walking in the corridor with several hospital staff quickly coming my direction. My counselor Mark and Gary from AA and NA walk next to me. Gary says to me, “I bet you were one of those students who likes to provoke the teacher. I can’t high-five you for being an asshole, but I gotta say, I never seen him so upset.”

Gary peels off down an adjoining hallway while I’m still processing that backhanded compliment. From somewhere, Marie from psychodrama also comes alongside.

Mark speaks first though. “You definitely pissed Barnes off. I’m not seeing a lot of good judgment in action here. I mean, think about it, now the guy who runs the place where you live isn’t pleased with you, and that could be a problem.”

Marie chimes in, “Yeah, watch out. Seriously.”





* * *



Biofeedback is next on my schedule. It briefly occurs to me to miss it. I don’t. I settle into my chair to watch the blips on the screen. It feels like a safe place to relax and process what just happened.

Biofeedback chairs are among the better chairs in the place, they’re professional office chairs with supportive backs and height adjustment switches, lightly padded, swivel seat on five roller balls, comfortable arm rests. I sit down in the nice chair and they hook the sensors on. There’s a display with dots that move against the backdrop of scale lines, and a dim trace of where each dot has been, its trajectory, with several dots and their patterns all fitting on the same screen, color coded, superimposed. They have names for the things being measured, but those names reflect the process of the making of the measurement, not really expressing what the data itself means. Means to whom? I’m in here, in this body, so potentially it has meaning to me, but I still have no frame of reference to understand what I’m watching. Nurse’s training didn’t cover the specifics of these measures.

Meanwhile, more cynically, I guess, you could say I am watching what process or function is being served by us being in biofeedback. The desired effect on us, the change targets. We’re the people they think of as here to be changed. The cynical eye isn’t seeing what the institution is getting out of this any more clearly than the trusting side understands the moving colored lines and dots on the screen.

My mind is still on Barnes and the morning meeting. Maybe I should have answered back and defended myself, but his attack seemed so over-the-top. His usual style is to smile benignly and insert sharp little verbal needles and make his intended victims lose their cool, but he sure hadn’t been doing that this morning.

Not just that, but he already targeted me during the big community group meeting yesterday evening, and normally he’d be on another unit, and then when he was next on Unit 4 again, move on to someone else. For him to come at me again so soon makes it look like a personal vendetta. Or... paints me as a problem who needs to be kicked out? But I don’t think they want to acknowledge that anyone can be disruptive here. That would mess with how they want this place to be perceived.

Ultimately, I probably handled it perfectly by just standing there, not responding. That had been accidental, I mean it wasn’t a carefully calibrated thing I’d decided to do or anything. And I hadn’t been the only one nonplussed — I’d been in a roomful of rather shocked-looking people looking back and forth at each other while Barnes did his rant.

So yeah, I think my silence in the face of his hissy fit allowed his behavior to speak for itself.

————

I'm seeking feedback on my book Within the Box right here, one chapter at a time.

I'm hoping people will read it and comment on it as I go. I'm hoping that if they like it, they'll spread the word.

When I get to the end, I'll start over with the first chapter, by which point I'll no doubt have made changes.

Meanwhile, I'll keep querying lit agents, because why not? But this way I'm not postponing the experience of having readers.



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My first book, GenderQueer: A Story From a Different Closet, is published by Sunstone Press. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble in paperback, hardback, and ebook, and as ebook only from Apple, Kobo, and directly from Sunstone Press themselves.


My second book, That Guy in Our Women's Studies Class, has also now been published by Sunstone Press. It's a sequel to GenderQueer. It is available on Amazon and on Barnes & Noble in paperback and ebook, and as ebook only from Apple, Kobo, and directly from Sunstone Press themselves.




Links to published reviews and comments are listed on my Home Page, for both published books.

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Index of all Blog Posts

What I Just Finished Reading

Nothing. Still have not attempted books. Currently getting over a migraine. I have to say, if I am now down to one migraine a week (which would be great, actually) I don't see why it has to be on Comics Wednesday two weeks in a row so that all my comics reviews are ass because I am clearly having difficulty comprehending comics.

Perhaps I could wait until Thursday to read them? No. It must be Wednesday. Otherwise the internet will spoil me.

What I'm Reading Now

Comics Wednesday!

( Captain America #8, Sorcerer Supreme #4, Ultimate Wolverine #15, Ultimates #22 )

What I'm Reading Next

Look, I'd be happy if I just got to read a book ever again.

I lead an active life so I am sure I have the physique of a 64 year and 11 month-old.

Nobody is sure who the enemy is, where they come from, or what their goals are. Still, they are the enemy and it’s up to the United Earth Surface and the Allied Orbital Forces Command to show the enemy what’s what.

The Proposal by Myung-Hoon Bae

Title: Shane's Tattoo on AO3
Artist: mific
Rating: Gen
Fandom: Heated Rivalry
Characters/Pairings: Ilya Rozanov
Notes: Made in Procreate for the tattoo-style challenge. The second in this pair.