A Bug's Life

I nearly started smoking today. Standing outside the department at 10:50 in the just-bracing cold, waiting for my student to arrive, a couple of his classmates came out for a quick cigarette before class and came to chat with me. I felt like a lemon, standing around, and joked that I should take up smoking - and one of them offered me a cigarette. All of a sudden, I could see what it was for - outside, huddling round a cigarette would be almost comforting and would make me feel better. It made them feel better, I could see it in their faces. It's a way to be, while standing around. And so warm! The fragile paper stick of crackling leaves, to cradle in my palms and lips. I remembered my usual objection to smoking, which is that it stinks, but I started to want to fill my lungs with warm smoke and the taste of fragrant ash.

But I have quite enough addiction already with the Coca-Cola Red Bull, so I didn't even start.

EDIT: *Bonfires*! That's what I want, not cigarettes at all... Standing in the dark, wrapped up warm with toasty socks on, watching the flames flicker and the sparks fly skyward. Lava-hot logs crumbling into charcoal and embers.

Cigarettes are like handy portable pocket-bonfires-on-a-stick.