A Bug's Life

A few years ago I was at a science fiction convention, chatting to people in the bar, and as the evening wore on I found I was in a great conversation with five of the most awesome, interesting, witty, clever women at the con! There were laughs, there was insight, it was amazing. I was obviously outclassed by these fabulous women, was grateful that they seemed to tolerate me hanging on, and glad that they liked it when I tried to contribute, even though I was the rubbish one and not really good enough for their company.

And time passed, and we kept talking, and it was gone midnight, and it was getting later, and one of us (it might have been me) said they knew it was time to go to bed, but they didn't want to leave this conversation, as they were astounded that such cool people would hang out with them. And everyone around the table agreed, but in their minds each of them had been the less cool person who was thrilled to be hanging out as equals with the awesome people. What, you too? But you're the cool one! No, you're the cool one!


I don't know what makes it such an attractive brain-trap, to think that someone is more important that you and won't want to talk to you, it's not exactly imposter syndrome, (it's maybe a fear of disturbing someone you respect? the awkwardness of making first contact even when it's someone you know?), but in a heck of a lot of cases if you're thinking it about them, it turns out they're thinking it about you.

(Also I don't want to be the cool person, I want to be the friendly approachable person)