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The Strimmer
Rated 'R' for violence (excessive) and sexual activity (frequent).
The back garden looks like it hasn't been touched since June (or possibly May), so this morning I strimmed it. There's logic, see - I want to Ronseal the shed, but first I need to get rid of the long grass around it; the shed needs 8 hours of being dry between the first and second coat, and the compostable recycling will be collected on Monday. I have a window, and I'm going for it! I also have a window in the garage which looks like it's been sprayed with mud, so I should clean that too. But after I've moved the electrical strimming equipment from beneath it.
I made a fairly good job of the strimming - the lawn was too long to mow, so this was a first step. Unlike previous attempts, I did not go for the efficiency of angling the strimmer cable down into the ground - this really gets the grass cut, but tends to throw up chunks of ground. Strimming a patch then raking it out seems to help, at least to stop huge piles of clippings building up on the part I want to strim. The remaining grass is a bit long and patchy, but in a few days (and when the shed's dry!) it'll recover from this harsh treatment and I can mow it properly. It will also take me a few days to recover - strimming looks so easy and such fun, but it's darned hard work! There a bit of stooping involved, and the vibration of the grip, and they way you have to keep on and on with it until it's done. My hands are quite wobbly (I don't know if I'll manage the shed! ;-))
And the long grass was full of those insects with long legs and wings that flap around your bedroom at night. I wondered where they came from, and it appears they have taken to breeding in the long grass. Pairs and pairs, glued end to end. And this is where the slasher movie similarity kicks in - you know the movie convention, that anyone who has sex will die? They were copulating so desperately that they did not attempt to leave the path of the strimmer, and probably got strimmed to death. Their virginal (or not currently copulating) comrades flew merrily away.
Edit: 4:24pm, and I've given the shed its first coat. The tub said "Red Cedar" but it looks like it's been Tangoed... My arms hurt again;strimming painting looks so easy and such fun, but it's darned hard work!
The back garden looks like it hasn't been touched since June (or possibly May), so this morning I strimmed it. There's logic, see - I want to Ronseal the shed, but first I need to get rid of the long grass around it; the shed needs 8 hours of being dry between the first and second coat, and the compostable recycling will be collected on Monday. I have a window, and I'm going for it! I also have a window in the garage which looks like it's been sprayed with mud, so I should clean that too. But after I've moved the electrical strimming equipment from beneath it.
I made a fairly good job of the strimming - the lawn was too long to mow, so this was a first step. Unlike previous attempts, I did not go for the efficiency of angling the strimmer cable down into the ground - this really gets the grass cut, but tends to throw up chunks of ground. Strimming a patch then raking it out seems to help, at least to stop huge piles of clippings building up on the part I want to strim. The remaining grass is a bit long and patchy, but in a few days (and when the shed's dry!) it'll recover from this harsh treatment and I can mow it properly. It will also take me a few days to recover - strimming looks so easy and such fun, but it's darned hard work! There a bit of stooping involved, and the vibration of the grip, and they way you have to keep on and on with it until it's done. My hands are quite wobbly (I don't know if I'll manage the shed! ;-))
And the long grass was full of those insects with long legs and wings that flap around your bedroom at night. I wondered where they came from, and it appears they have taken to breeding in the long grass. Pairs and pairs, glued end to end. And this is where the slasher movie similarity kicks in - you know the movie convention, that anyone who has sex will die? They were copulating so desperately that they did not attempt to leave the path of the strimmer, and probably got strimmed to death. Their virginal (or not currently copulating) comrades flew merrily away.
Edit: 4:24pm, and I've given the shed its first coat. The tub said "Red Cedar" but it looks like it's been Tangoed... My arms hurt again;
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I wouldn't worry about making their lives more like a horror movie though, they avoid getting eaten by birds by having limbs that fall off at the slightest provocation.
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