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Things I Wish I Had
Mechanical eptitude.
There's no reason why I shouldn't have it - I've got a Physics degree, I can wire a plug, I can assemble flat-pack furniture. Give me a simple task, though, like "remove this hard drive", or, say "Could you run my car for five minutes once a month while I'm away?" and I'm utterly stumped. I can see what needs to be done, and I think I am doing the correct things, but nothing happens.
With the hard drive, I'd struggled for hours and not managed. I could se all the catches and levers and the path it should slide along, but no amount of tugging or prodding would get it out. I ask someone round to help, and it leaps straight out for them in 0.5 of a second.
With the car, I put the key in, turn it, the lights come on, but no ignition. Cue lots of fiddling and trying different combinations of seatbelt/handbrake/indicators etc on/off. (I'm not a driver, but have had 20-odd lessons over the last ten years.) I find the user guide, and identify the dashboard lights which are meant to come on for bulb test (and do) and go off (which all do except the Malfunction Indicator). I give up, and make to lock the car up. But I can't get the keys out of the frigging ignition. Gah! They turn freely, but won't come out! There's a button next to them which I try pressing, gently, in case it's the choke, but nothing, nothing, nothing.
Fast-forward through Bridget phoning several local car-driving friends who are all out (presumably driving their cars), eventually finding![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bellinghman. He and bellinghwoman come round for a bit of trouble-shooting, chatting, and watching the Midsummer Common fireworks from the back bedroom window (we could see the high stuff, which was quite impressive. I particularly liked the white sprays which lingered, looking like a row of giant chrysanthemums. The 5-6 second time delay on the detonations was quite odd, though!). I think at this point the car was tried with the clutch depressed.
No joy.
I get word from Simon this morning. Depress the clutch fully while turning the key; there's a button near the key-slot which you push to release the keys.
And lo! the car starts up straight away. I leave it purring happily for a few minutes, then remove the keys with some amount of wrestling.
It's phrases like "press the button" which get me. They often mean "depress the button slowly for the first 90% of its range, speeding up for the last 2mm, include a 2°ree; twist and follow through until you feel the latch connect."
But some people just press the button and have things work. Not me. Bah. I don't want to be a pathetic girlie about electromechanical equipment, but it thwarts me.
EDIT: Not that any of you seem concerned that I left the car overnight with the keys in the ignition, but it was in a locked garage the whole time. Phew!
There's no reason why I shouldn't have it - I've got a Physics degree, I can wire a plug, I can assemble flat-pack furniture. Give me a simple task, though, like "remove this hard drive", or, say "Could you run my car for five minutes once a month while I'm away?" and I'm utterly stumped. I can see what needs to be done, and I think I am doing the correct things, but nothing happens.
With the hard drive, I'd struggled for hours and not managed. I could se all the catches and levers and the path it should slide along, but no amount of tugging or prodding would get it out. I ask someone round to help, and it leaps straight out for them in 0.5 of a second.
With the car, I put the key in, turn it, the lights come on, but no ignition. Cue lots of fiddling and trying different combinations of seatbelt/handbrake/indicators etc on/off. (I'm not a driver, but have had 20-odd lessons over the last ten years.) I find the user guide, and identify the dashboard lights which are meant to come on for bulb test (and do) and go off (which all do except the Malfunction Indicator). I give up, and make to lock the car up. But I can't get the keys out of the frigging ignition. Gah! They turn freely, but won't come out! There's a button next to them which I try pressing, gently, in case it's the choke, but nothing, nothing, nothing.
Fast-forward through Bridget phoning several local car-driving friends who are all out (presumably driving their cars), eventually finding
bellinghman. He and bellinghwoman come round for a bit of trouble-shooting, chatting, and watching the Midsummer Common fireworks from the back bedroom window (we could see the high stuff, which was quite impressive. I particularly liked the white sprays which lingered, looking like a row of giant chrysanthemums. The 5-6 second time delay on the detonations was quite odd, though!). I think at this point the car was tried with the clutch depressed.No joy.
I get word from Simon this morning. Depress the clutch fully while turning the key; there's a button near the key-slot which you push to release the keys.
And lo! the car starts up straight away. I leave it purring happily for a few minutes, then remove the keys with some amount of wrestling.
It's phrases like "press the button" which get me. They often mean "depress the button slowly for the first 90% of its range, speeding up for the last 2mm, include a 2°ree; twist and follow through until you feel the latch connect."
But some people just press the button and have things work. Not me. Bah. I don't want to be a pathetic girlie about electromechanical equipment, but it thwarts me.
EDIT: Not that any of you seem concerned that I left the car overnight with the keys in the ignition, but it was in a locked garage the whole time. Phew!
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Now why didn't I realise that?
Depress the clutch? What weirdo engineer thought that that was a sensible requirement? Why not just insist it's in neutral, like all sane manuals?
(And my father was a professional automotive engineer, once he stopped being a professional racing driver. And I read for an Engineering degree.)
I think we have some gratuitously stupid designers, there. I now wonder if all Chryslers are that weird.
(All of which goes to say that you weren't being stupid in being unable to get it going. The manual did not match the reality.)
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Lack of mechanical eptitude (nicely put, that) is in no way confined to the female of the species. I have a digital camera which cost me nothing because the original owner, an old friend (and male), just could not after several months.
I took my first picture with it in under five minutes. Go on, hate me for my mechanical eptitude! (I think I should like a T-shirt with that.)
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howto fix things ;-)no subject
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It took me several minutes to work out how to put my mum's latest automatic in gear when I wanted to shift it along the drive, and I've driven several other automatics in the past. It turns out it has a "feature" which prevents you from putting it into drive until you've released the handbrake first.
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My partner gets lots of rental cars for his work, with newfangled types of ignition and key cards and suchlike; I don't think I could ever figure those out.
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My MG-ZT automatic wants it the other way round - put it into drive, then release the handbrake. (But doesn't insist on it.)
It does make hill starts somewhat less exciting, but what the hell.
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The key thing turns out to be slightly sensible - it's so some oik can't reach through the window and nick your keys.
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;-)
My Father
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