A Bug's Life

Update time: I posted here on Day 2 of the new Long Covid, today is Day 16, I posted the below on Facebook on Day 9. I'll make this public for a week so I have something to share on short form social media, then make it friends only.

Since the FB post last week not a lot has changed, no trajectory of improvement, largely managing to not make it horribly worse but I am having to spend a lot of time on bed rest. I've bought a wheelchair (£200 from Argos, lovely smooth thing) and been out for a short trip with Toby, me walking 2-3 minutes then pushed for a while. It's useful to be able to get out and walk a bit. Friend C is dealing with prescriptions. Mum is visiting tomorrow to chop loads of veg for batch cook (but at 80 she's retired from wheelchair pushing). I've booked in the gardener for early-mid Oct to put the garden to bed. I've cut 8" off my hair so now it's "just" shoulder length.

I have days where the heart rate feels precarious, where anything could set it leaping; and days when it feels more solid, and I can plod a bit at washing up and things, and some of those days it stays solid and others it only realises what I did a couple of hours later and soars then while I'm resting.

Stop adding things Bridget and go and lie down.


The FB post as posted:
Hello Facebook, I don't post here often (bugshaw on Bluesky or Dreamwidth usually) but it's a good way to reach a lot of people at once to say...
I'm having a big big Long Covid relapse.
Like the old days five years ago, sometimes can't prepare food or fetch drinks, barely use stairs (where the bath and study and books and papers are), felt a bit better on Friday and sat for 30 minutes at big computer for admin, crashed badly on Saturday Sunday so I'm still getting the delayed effect after apparently overdoing things but not feeling like it at the time. I can't see myself getting out of the house in September, hopefully eventually being able to do occasional things within 10 minutes walk e.g. Co-op, Light cinema, and visiting Toby in his house of many stairs (it's like a zig zag front and back).
Had three great months in the summer, garden parties, painting the garden fence, day trips to London, 3 mile walks with Toby. Was looking forward to doing more, hatching out of the last five years to a more functional life, doing more visits.
But got Covid in late August. Just my second time, the illness was noticeable but mild (that brief sore throat like I'd swallowed sandpaper), this time I'd had all the vaccines and boosters and been on Metformin for a couple of years which has a protective effect against LC. I knew to be careful, return to activity very gently. 10 min gentle gentle walk one day was fine. 20 min the next day was fine. 25 min the next morning was fine. After lunch, BOF! puppet with strings cut energy, heart pounding, oh dear I recognise this. Got myself settled downstairs with a quick bag of essentials from the upstairs where it happened. Couple of very bad days, few slightly better days so I did tiny things and got bad again.
I have rather lost track of where I am, doing long text on a small phone.
... Argh, FB cuts it off here so I'll put the rest in comments. NOT HELPFUL FB.

Part 2
But yes, probably housebound for a month except essential appointments, no London trips till at least February. Any thoughts of returning to work are right off the radar. My plan for a September full of craft and sewing projects for Christmas is off. I don't know when I'll be up to it again. This is only Day 8 of the relapse but it feels precarious and there's nothing that looks like an improvement trajectory. Ask me again in 3 months.
Good things: I know what's happening and how to manage it. Still no treatment I'm aware of but I'll let the GP know. Almost everything important is on the ground floor - bedroom, loo, basin, washer and dryer, kitchen. I've got plenty of healthy food in store. I'm ok for cash flow with the two lodgers, who also help with small things. Supportive friends and family. It's the time of year where the garden stops being desperately needy. Lots of music, podcasts, streaming video, ebooks, physical books according to energy levels. I just need to wait it out again. Sometimes I'm patient, sometimes I'm frustrated and miserable.
But that's where I am at the moment.

Part 3.
Oh you poor thing! Is there anything I can do to help?
Well actually I have given that some thought! Friends could help me:
Accompany in taxi to appointments eg GP, blood test.
Drive to appointments.
Help me buy an entry level manual folding wheelchair for occasional use (Cambridge Mobility in Sawston?) and tiny displacement rearrange furniture to store it.
Collect prescriptions from Mill Road.
Batch cook for freezer.
Veg prep for salad grab nibbles.
Visit for brief socialising.
Take masses of fresh growing basil before the season turns, there's loads and loads in the garden trough.
Check if garden needs watering.
Tiny grocery shop if delivery services let me down.
Take a ukulele - bought it last year thinking I'd learn. Not going to happen.
Bring your clippers and give me a 1-2" haircut - I've got two months of root growth and not going to get to a hairdresser for a more sensitive and gradual dyed black to natural grey transition. Bit nervous about this one but it will take away the difficult task of hair washing for months and months, gives me back a day per week it's so strenuous. I think I'd prefer a friend to a professional mobile hairdresser I don't already know, as I have very little energy for the getting to know you, discussing prettiness objectives, no I don't also want it washed etc etc. It seems like it might exhaust me before it's begun. I might be wrong. That got long. Like my hair.

Part 4 the last part.
Lodgers are fully on top of the bins and regularly refilling my 2 litre water bottles.
I know a cleaning company if I need it, and a gardener who made it a lot lower maintenance and nicer who I hope will put the garden to bed for the winter.
Best contact is email, WhatsApp, signal, text, phone. FB is very difficult on my phone and messaging is unreliable, don't know why, I have the app, it prefers the big upstairs computer.

TL;DR Bridget can't come out to play till spring, she's got to bed.
Bridget Ken from the Barbie movie: My job is bed!

I have shoes! Went to London to visit mum in north London and she drove me to Wembley to Wide Shoes - a specialist shoe store who do drop in fittings twice a week and take referrals from podiatrists and care homes the rest of the time so they really know their feet.

The fitter took a look at my wide toe, narrow heel feet ("fine-boned, madam") and suggested some styles that would work, with pointers so I know what to look out for in future. Lace-ups are better than slip-ons, and the sandals have a good high up the foot strap. It's not so much that some shoes are cut for a narrower heel, more that it doesn't matter for the fit how wide the heel is.

He said things like "Your feet are not that wide," and "These shoes are too wide for you," (which they were - good length but space for a finger in the toe box). And "If you've had a good experience, do tell your friends" which I am absolutely doing here.

It was such a treat to have the first candidate shoe go on without pain - and then for there to be more sizes available so I could go up and down a size or width fitting to find a pair that actually fit nicely. I'm used to High Street shops where in their widest available, I go up and up a size till I can get my toes in, then they fall off the back, and I leave with no shoes. After the first successful pair (black lace-ups good for walking) I asked what other styles they had as I have nothing else in my shoe wardrobe - and I got purple lace-ups, ankle boots, and two pairs of the same sandal in different colours. What size I am depends on style, and I ended up with a 4K (boots), 5H (black shoes), 6H (sandals), and 6K (purple). There's lots of designed-for-wide-feet features in them - additional removable insoles to adjust the fit (or replace with your own orthotics), choice of soft leather so there's more give on the toes.

hey don't have huge warehouse stocks so recommended I bought them now not later online with delivery. But they're so light I was able to carry them all home, unboxed, in a big tote bag with no problem.

Plus lots of cool geekiness about special soft leather and removable insoles for flexible fit.



I was not looking forward to carrying multiple shoeboxes home on the train so I asked about buying from their online store for delivery - but they don't carry the lines for ages, they do sell out quickly, so recommend I bought them at the store that day. But they did take all the shoe boxes from me, and the shoes themselves are so light I was able to stuff them all in a tote bag and carry them home on the train, even though I am weak and easily tired.

Mum also bought a pair of shoes, and we will go back in September for winter shoes for me and anything else I think I'm missing. Not too expensive either - £450 for five pairs. And if I'd been luckier with the styles on sale (last few sizes) it's only £30.

They also specialise in dancing shoes and made all the shoes for Riverdance :-) But I will not be hopping about too much.

So there's my recommendation for
https://www.wideshoes.co.uk/

and I can tick "Buy shoes" off my list after months and months of failing.

Five books this week! Mostly short, or fast, or started last week and finished this week. Favourite is Sinopticon, Chinese short SF collection recommended at Eastercon or Worldcon.

Books
The Moonlight Market, Joanne Harris (2024)
All The Light We Cannot See, Anthony Doerr (2014)
Photography: A Very Short Introduction, Steve Edwards (2006)
The Lantern and the Night Moths, ed. tr. Yilin Wang (2024)
Sinopticon, ed. tr. Xueting Christine Ni (2021)

Films
Novocaine, Dan Berk and Robert Olsen, 2025, Light Cinema
Drifting Clouds, Aki Kaurismäki, 1996, Mubi (rewatch for Film Club)
Corpo Celeste, Alice Rohrwacher, 2011, Mubi

Other
Gig from the Soundhunt group. Improvised music in the basement at Thrive cafe - two electric violins, percussively-played sax, hands all over the double bass. Fluttering and thumping. The first half was three duets (one pair had only met an hour before), the second half had all six on stage. It's the sort of music I find difficult listening on a recording, but watching them make the journey was something else.

Books
Started two (one paper, one ebook) but didn't finish anything this week.

Films
Jour de Fête, Jacques Tati, 1949, Mubi
M. Hulot's Holiday, Jacques Tati, 1953, Mubi

TV
Adolescence 1.1-1.4
Time Team: The Mystery of the Standing Stone

Time Team made a discovery! It was very cool! Enjoyed that episode.

Other
The Choir of Gonville and Caius College Cambridge, St. Mary's Church, Saffron Walden
A free concert; a programme of pieces from 1600's to 1900s, then Fauré's Requiem. Lovely having voices fill the space; Toby went off down an organ rabbit hole and his fascination with the music of distortion.
In music of purity corner, I wonder (perhaps you could answer if you're in a choir) if people use a different voice for solos? Or the same singing voice throughout (adapting for the tone of the piece) and the difference in sound with multiple singers just comes from the number of voices, or whether there's a modulation of tone to better merge the voices.

Lets try splitting this out so I can get the first part of the weekly post out sooner.

Reading and Watching

Books
Full Dark House, Christopher Fowler (2003) (for Book Club)
Endurance and Joy in the East End 1971-87, David Hoffman (2024)
Dart, Alice Oswald (2002)
Yellowface, Rebecca F. Kuang (2023)

Films
Macbeth, Orson Welles, 1948, iPlayer (rewatch)
Grand Theft Hamlet, Pinny Grylls and Sam Crane, 2024, Mubi
The Man in the White Suit, Alexander Mackendrick, 1951, Mubi (rewatch) (for Film Club)
Anora, Sean Baker, 2024, Light Cinema

Comments
I watched the Macbeth the previous weekend. I rewatched it at home a few days later with subtitles. Suddenly it all makes sense! It was visually great but I didn't twig a lot of the story (and I've managed to never read it, and when I saw a recent cinema version I also couldn't follow the dialogue). The whole bit where he writes to his wife to tell her the prophecy that he'll be king next, she excitedly goes to the window and mumbles poetically for a while, I didn't realise she was saying "King, eh? We'll have to make sure that comes true, I will summon my most evil side" so I was waiting for the King to die tragically and everyone be surprised. I'm not proud it's taken me so long to understand this, but I'm glad I do now.

Grand Theft Hamlet was a different sort of thing. Set in the Grand Theft Auto universe during lockdown, had a lot of good reviews from people I respect. But I hated it! I didn't like the look, the unhuman shambling, the sound, the talking drivel with your mates, getting randomly attacked by passers by in the game. Infuriating and tedious. I gave up at 15 minutes. But I was encouraged to continue to see the community that came together, people building something, people's different experiences of lockdown and some heartfelt sharing; so I did, and there it was. I mostly had it on in the background, listening more than watching. I admit the stuff on the plane was cool - as they said, Hamlet on a multi million budget. I would have preferred a 15 minute version. Toby was in hoots of laughter.

Yellowface was surprisingly gripping for a novel largely about the publishing industry.

The cot quilt I finally made!

The front



and the back

In 2024 I watched 244 films which was super and more than strictly necessary especially if I want to do more crafting in 2025 and I need to find the time from somewhere.

Letterboxd has my log:
https://letterboxd.com/MovieBug/films/diary/

I like to go through my list and check how much I'm getting from my cinema memberships and streaming services.

48 at The Light, my local cinema which is a whole 10 minutes walk from sofa to screen, with a £16/month unlimited deal. Check! I saw a mention of plans for redeveloping the Leisure Park it's in, including that there would be a new version of The Junction (theatre/live music/comedy/clubbing/arts venue) so I don't know what is on the cards for the future. There are three other cinemas in Cambridge but they're all more like 30 minutes walk away which is significant for me.

11 at Picturehouse for example, where I have a membership and they have good films and I still have ten free member tickets outstanding but I'll just watch things at The Light because it's so close and convenient.

44 on Mubi, arthouse streaming, tons of good stuff. I have a weekly Film Club zoom and we often pick from here. £95/year but it's going up so quickly (£70 in 2021).

46 DVDs - I had forgotten I had spent much of March going through my unwatched DVD shelf so they could go in a cupboard not sit around as clutter.

41 at Film Festivals. I do like these - great collections of things I may not otherwise see, a deep dive for a week.
Soho Horror Fest was a new one to me - https://www.sohohorrorfest.com/ They have physical festivals but I went to the online ones which were lovely! And wholesome! And so inclusive! The Pride fest was in the summer, the general one later in the year. Mitch who runs it is so enthusiastic and does intros before each film. I was going to pass on Scared Shitless from the title, till he described it as "Like Tremors but with toilets" and it was a hoot. Wholesome like in the films selected they rip people's intestines out but they don't rip a lady's clothes for gratuitous exploitative nudity. 25 features over the two festivals, which were each shown with 1 or 2 shorts which are great for exploring an idea or effect or character. Horror has such a huge range. Gore, psychological, historical...
Cambridge Film Fest in person - https://www.cambridgefilmfestival.org.uk/ - a 25 minute walk cinema. 15 films over the week, plus a few 90-minute shorts programmes which I didn't include in my count.
WOFFF Women Over 50 Film Festival online - https://wofff.co.uk/ - featuring films where the director, writer, and or key cast is a wof. Just shorts, presented as 90-minute programmes. I watched all 8 programmes but only counted it as "1 film" in my list. The first year they ran, it was great - there were obviously lots of sound films that hadn't found an audience. A few years on, and it has a weaker pool to draw from. Still some great shorts but I had to watch through several middling ones to find them. Next year I'll give it a miss, and spend 12 hours knitty granny squares or something :-)

In 2025: more The Light! Use those 10 Picturehouse tickets that expire in April! CFF! Mubi! Soho Horror Fest but probably just one of them!
I want to make more time for other activities as I said in the Books post (taken up patchwork and cross stitch again but they don't naturally fall into my day so I'll have to consciously make space for them), so maybe only 4/week and try to watch them after 4pm when my energy for other things is flagging.

I'm not back to the film review radio show I used to do - not reliable enough physically, and not coherent enough to pull my thoughts together. I did try to write some thoughts about Cambridge Film Festival but ran out of steam after three. It seems like I would be super at doing reviews of all these films (people often say I should), but while I can often bring interesting things to an exchange with someone else who's just watched the film too, it's not the sort of thing I can turn into paragraphs for an audience who haven't seen it and don't know the detail or plot point I'm talking about.

Books
2022 In 25, read 57, unread physical 388, unread total 399, -37 on previous year.
2023 In 84, read 54, unread physical 410, unread total 424, +25 on previous year.
2024 In 124, read 119, unread physical 400, unread total 430, +6 on previous year.

What a year! I put most of this down to my health being a bit better in general, but not enough to work. I went to Eastercon and Worldcon virtually which both gave me a ton of new authors to buy and try, birthday and Christmas gifts from Toby added a lot of new directions I hadn't yet explored, and book club pointed me at a few things. And there was the time I went to a charity shop and they had 8 Joanne Harris books who I'd just started reading. And all these 99p Kindle deals I don't resist (and can't think of much reason to resist). I rejoined the library in the autumn but haven't used it yet.

I had a great deal of enjoyment from reading, but retained very little due to how my brain works these days. Part of the reading more I think is because I just started reading anyway, not waiting "till my brain was clever enough to properly appreciate it". And luckily there is Goodreads which keeps my list - and it's handy to click through for the summary/review reminders. My list is here: (unless it only shows "Bridget's" books because I'm logged in as "Bridget")
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/144059146?ref=nav_mybooks

In 2025 I'm aiming for 120 books, as a nice round 10/month. I have my books bought in 2023/24 on separate couple of shelves, as "new/recent", and they are overflowing. Of course I can read whatever I like from this enormous buffet but I'm going to guide myself with trying 5 a month of the 2023/24 books (which will finish them by the end of the year), 2 non-fiction, 1 new, and see what happens with the rest. I do want to clear those 2023/24 shelves and take a chunk out of my non-fiction.

It's back! And I've been through the brochure and longlisted films and tried to fit them in and had a couple of rounds of tweaking to balance the days out and do chains of swaps/deconflicting to see the later screenings in much earlier slots. My latest finish is 20:35 which is a great fit to my current energy levels. I've bought 22 tickets, with another four potentials if I'm feeling perky in the evening. Some of those will be on general release a few weeks later so I'm not prioritising them over the films with smaller distribution.

Only a few Q&As this year (on the website) and none for my screenings - bit of a shame but means I don't risk rudely leaving for another film. It's a bit smaller and less varied than some previous years. The retrospective is Daniel Kaluuya most of whose films I've seen recently; no silents programme; no late night horror; no online offering. Still tons of stuff! The Catalan selection has always been strong and much to my taste.

https://www.cambridgefilmfestival.org.uk/

( My list of films )

I have the following looking for good homes:

Interzone magazine - 261 issues, nearly complete run 25-284 plus a few earlier issues
Foundation journal of SF criticism - issues 5, 16-113 plus a few spares.

Any takers or suggestions for homes?